Dance parties are certainly not my thing.

First off, there is a lot of jumping. Do I want to be able to use my knees in the future? Of course. So then why are we playing Sandstorm twice in one dance. I can only jump but for so long before my dinner starts jumping with me.

Secondly, being in Provo, there is nowhere near enough hip-hop for my taste. Y'all can techno out as much as you want, but as for me, I would like to get my swagger on. No further explanation needed.

Third, you end up in a circle, and nothing against circles of people dancing together, but eventually, you've just danced as much as the circle can take (and in my case, I use "dance" in the loosest of terms). My arms can only move in so many ways before I have to start repeating, and then there is simply no interest in my "dance" abilities.

Fourth, dances are loud. Why can't we have a poetry reading, or a nice tea party, or combine the two into a poetry tea party. I have no science to back this up, but I don't think the human brain should be exposed to those decibel levels for that amount of time. You're just asking for an eardrum tumor.

Fifth, I get sweaty. I'm not opposed to an acceptable level of sweatiness in certain activities, such as sports or acting, but when I am trying to intrigue the ladies, I find that man sweat is not the most pleasant or effective smell to be wearing. Unless the ladies are simply drawn to the most primitive hunter-gatherer within me (which I have not found to be true. And I have baked a lot of baked goods in my life to try and win over the ladies [provider status] with little to no effect, heavy on the no).

Sixth, there is the inevitable formation of the universal dance circle, wherein people show off their "moves." Unfortunately, though my moves are borderline epic, they also fail to intrigue the ladies. And then the circle dies, and it's generally probably my fault.

There is a positive side, however, to dance parties (in Provo). Treats.

All in all, large groups, not my style. Instead of oodles of fun, most of the time they just show me how many people I don't know. Or how many people don't know me.

Sasquatch probably doesn't dance too much, but if s/he does, I bet it's for his/her own personal enjoyment and/or cardiovascular health. Like Sasquatch, I dance mostly on the inside, or alone. Some days it's just better that way.