2013/2014: Recaps, Resolutions, Etc.

Let me explain...
No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

2013 has been a year much like many others. It began in January, and it will end tonight as December expires. There were 365 days, as the majority of years have. But it was the first 2013 I have lived and will probably be the last. So let's look back, and then look forward to 2014 (a year like many others, except I haven't lived a 2014 yet).

What did I do in 2013? Well, what didn't I do? Lots is the answer to both of those questions.

Theatre:
I worked backstage for the ballets Peter Pan and The Legend of Timpanogos
I ASM'ed Phantom of the Opera
I SM'ed Blithe Spirit
I AD'ed Farewell to Eden
I did Hair and Makeup Design for Henry V
I directed Hamlet
I acted in Henry V, Wind of a Thousand Tales, Somewhere to Claustrophobia, and excerpts from Richard III and The King Stag

Sheesh, it sounds like I was busy this year in the theatre world. I will probably be less busy this upcoming year, but that's mainly because I graduate and then will be doing something probably resembling work thereafter, but what that will constitute remains open for debate.

Travel:
I flew across the ocean to visit Ireland, Wales, England, and Scotland, and while there visited dozens of castles, cathedrals, historical sites, quoits, cromlechs, dolmens, and a handful of theatrical performances in London, Cardiff, and Edinburgh (Hint: Three of the previous words mean the same thing).
I also drove down to Georgia and South Carolina for a well earned vacation away from the frigid, snowy valley that I have grown to accept with at least half of my heart.

I can only anticipate that travels and adventures will continue to occur in the following year.

Academics:
Needless to say I continued to dominate when I wanted to. Regardless of anything else that happens in life I remain Matt Fife.

Will these trends of exceptional work continue? I only have 9 more credits of my undergraduate degree, so I would predict yes. Will I carry on to do graduate work? That has yet to be decided, but if I do my commitment to stellar work will remain.

Employment:
I worked as a janitor (4-8 AM M-F), as a stage hand, and finally as a Teaching Assistant. I made more as a janitor, but the TA gig does not require me to wake up at 3:30, so that's a plus.

I will continue to work as a TA for the theatre department until graduation, and after that the sky is the limit (because NASA doesn't hire Theatre Majors as astronauts).

Love:
I dated some folk. I am yet unwed.

What does 2014 hold in store for my heart? Based on the quantity of pudding I've eaten over the past two days (16 Snack Packs and counting), a terrible catastrophe. Based on Horoscope.com by July my work-to-results ratio will begin to skew towards results. We have Jupiter's position in Leo to thank for that. Thanks, Jupiter.


What else does 2014 hold in store for me? Well, I have some ideas. I'm going to graduate. I am going to move (mainly because my contract is up in April). I am going to stage manage a show (Last Train to Nibroc, come see it at BYU this semester). I am going to read things. I will also probably write things. I will make some effort to keep the following resolutions, though I can neither confirm nor deny the success thereof.

Resolutions:
1) Unplug my life - Less technology, more living.
2) Figure out some sort of post-graduation plan - Puppeteer? Graduate School? Helicopter Pilot?
3) Hug people more - I'm a prickly man. Time to be more friendly.
4) Gain more wilderness survival skills - It's a cold, cruel world, and I must survive.

There are more goals and things that I would like to accomplish, but those four are my top resolutions. I figure if I do all of those I'll be ready for the Y2k15 bug that I've been hearing about in the news. Ultimate goal: Be prepared to live in the woods for 2-4 weeks seeking Sasquatch. And then hug them when I find them.

In Memoriam

It was March when we first met. I was a young man, he was a little puppy, freshly collected from the pound. One of our first interactions involved me, sick as all get out, curled up on the floor. He was an active pup, but he chose to come and cuddle with me, keeping me company in my feverish state. From that day forward we formed a bond of love and mutual respect.

He was not normally a super attention seeking dog. Most of the time he would simply pause in front of you and wait patiently for a loving head scratch. Sometimes he would calmly insert himself under your hand, or press his head against your thigh, but the result would still be the same. A head scratch and then some pleasant lounging.

When he was a puppy he was small enough to get lost in the monkey grass out back. Only his little black tail could be seen poking up from beneath the grassy plants. He also loved digging. I don't remember exactly how many times he managed to dig his way under the fence and wander out into the world, but he always came back. He was filled with wanderlust. He escaped because he loved to explore, and he wanted to explore as much as possible. However, he knew where home was and who his family was. If we pulled up beside him in the car and opened the door he would frequently just hop right in. He really enjoyed car rides.

He stopped being small pretty quick. In his prime he would rise up on his hind legs, put his paws on my shoulders, and look me square in the eye. While sitting on the top bunk, reading or playing with legos, he would frequently leap from standing and land beside me. While some people might have rules about dogs on beds or couches, Frodo understood that he was a part of the family. Most winter nights he could be found on mom's bed, keeping her warmer than she generally wanted to be.

There was only one thing he feared, and that was thunder (or really anything that sounded like it). This is a most unfortunate fear to have in Virginia, especially in the early summer months. When thunder rolled he would breathe heavily, pace constantly, and sometimes dig at carpet. But all he wanted was to be close to someone to give him comfort. There were lots of stormy nights when he would stick to me like glue, panting and listening as I spoke comfort to his stressed soul.

I love Frodo. Every time I came home he was waiting for me. He gave me as much if not more comfort than I ever could have given him. He held on for a long time and lived an amazing life. I don't know when it happened, but I stopped thinking of him as a pet. He was my friend, my family. He was my brother. Sure he got grumpy if you tried to take a tissue away from him, but who wouldn't? He cared for us, watched over us, and protected us from passing dogs, cats, and squirrels. 

I'll miss you, Frodo. 

Rest in Peace.

Some Groundrules

Dear Humanity,

It has come to my attention that maybe you don't do everything the way that I would prefer. So here I am telling everyone how to be human. And you do not need to bring up the irony of this situation. And now you're all trying to figure out what the irony is. I will now list several complaints and ways to rectify the situations.

1) Walking should require more than moving your legs.

There are many times in my life where I have been walking in a crowd, and all of a sudden the person in front of me slows to a crawl. I think, "What on earth is going on here? Did they pull their hamstring?" But as I maneuver past them I discover that that is incorrect. They've just pulled out their phone and have ceased to use their eyes and their brain to help them walk successfully. Texting and walking is dangerous in the same way that texting and driving is. Say I'm going full-speed ahead and you, on your phone, drift into my lane of walking. You will get annihilated, or I will have to pull some awesome ninja evasive maneuver to keep from hurting you. Either way, you've failed at one of the things that sets humans apart - Walking upright. Other dangerous things that happen when you're on your phone instead of watching where you're going

• Fall down stairs
• Get kidnapped
• Get stabbed to death by an enraged passer-by
• Incite ambulatory road rage leading to you getting a crossbow bolt in the throat
• Run into a trashcan or light pole

As you can plainly see, keep your eyes on the path. If your pocket buzzes, you can see who it is, or if it's an urgent e-mail. But while you are walking it is not the time to respond.

2) Communication requires two people

Unless of course you talk to yourself. But you see, the problem is that not everyone wants to communicate all the time. In fact, most of the time we're just talking at each other without actually saying anything. And the thing is, sometimes you're just busy doing other things and don't have time to communicate or focus on something other than the important business of whatever you're doing. The following are several guidelines to determine if I am willing to communicate with you. Other people might have different ideas, so just apply the following to interactions with me.

• If I have my head down, pen in hand, papers in front of me, then it is probably not the best time.
• If I have headphones in then I will not hear you when you come up behind me and say something.
• Eye contact means you have my attention.
• If I give you three grunts in a row then it's pretty clear that I'm not involved in the conversation. Don't make me grunt a fourth time.
• If you say something funny and I respond with a two syllable laugh, there's a good chance I'm humoring you. Or I am unable to commit myself to an involved conversation based on funny things.

Now, I recognize that there are times when people could potentially need to talk to me about something possibly urgent when I am not geared up for conversation. There are several things that can be done. Baked goods work well as conversational lubricant. If you give me baked goods, I will comment on them, thus committing myself to verbal interactions, at which point you may say, "Yeah, I love baked goods, too. Speaking of baked goods, (insert issue here)." Or you could go the old-fashioned route and say, "Matt, I desire to converse with you." Or you could go the whimsical route and say, "The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things..." All of these are valid ways to clue me into the fact that you desire fulfilling conversation with me. I will do my best to respect these rules for you as well.

3) Dating.

I do apologize for not talking about dating for some time. Due to my current schedule the possibility of another dating week this semester is slim. That and I find myself less and less inclined to talk about the same thing over and over again. But seeing as how communication tends to be a vital part of relationships based on the theatrical productions and films I have seen on certain occasions I feel like it flows naturally from the previous point.

Now, there are times when people lack time and energy to engage in developing relationships from scratch. However, no boxed relationship will ever truly substitute for the joy that comes with the family recipe. Take that as you will. I will admit quite frankly that my awareness of things of this nature tends to reside on a low setting. There are so many knobs and I can't have all of them turned to high at once. So I have my professional theatre stuff, my academic pursuits, my job, and my call to teach all turned up pretty high, so naturally the knob controlling dating activity and interest is turned to low. However, I cannot isolate myself from relationships just because I'm busy elsewhere. So the following are certain signs of interest that when used in conjunction with other signs can easily demonstrate interest in "getting with this."

• One could say any of the following, "Here are some baked good. Speaking of baked goods, would you like to pursue a romantic relationships with me?" or "Matt, I desire to converse with you on matters of the heart. Specifically your heart and my heart" or "The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things...". Please only use the latter if there is a clear follow-up to it.
• The phrase "Date me" written somewhere sneaky. That way it is like a game, and I love fun games (however, I hate not fun games, so try this at your own risk).
• Using intriguing commands like "Embrace me with your heart and soul," or "Pursue this (gesturing to yourself)" or "Get on my lips (for proper pronunciation I would request that you talk to either myself or Kameron)".
• A word search. I will drop anything that I am doing to complete a word search.
• Grabbing my face and kissing me. However, this could be awkward if I then said, "Interesting, however I find myself uninspired. Thank you for your time."
• A good game pat to the buttocks. I will be startled, but it's at least a clear sign of interest. Or of congratulations.
• Leaping upon me in a wild embrace. We don't work with metaphors here, so you might literally have to throw yourself at me.

4) Unrestrained vocal volume

This is my final little tidbit for today. Have you ever been sitting at a table in a restaurant, walking down the street, feeding ducks, loitering, or otherwise living your life and all of a sudden you can hear everything that someone is saying from 50 yards away. It can be anything from a "Yo, Steve, whaddup!!!!???" or an "OMG!!! I haven't seen you in ages" or a simple "They never bring me enough chips for my salsa!" While I am certain that someone values these interactions, I do not. Unless I invite you into my circle of attention, I prefer for you to not thrust yourself into it especially if I don't know you. You probably have an interesting life with really awesome stories to tell. But please, tell them at a reasonable volume. I already have to struggle with the idea that people probably exist when I can neither see them nor interact with them. Please don't force me to legitimize your existence when I already struggle to reconcile my own.

Now, some of these may seem silly. Some may seem like a synonym of silly with slight changes in connotation (for example, ridiculous, ludicrous, bonkers, nonsensical, etc.). Some of them might even appear to be an antonym to silly. But I can assure you all that I'm definitely at least serious about the first one. Seriously people, be aware of the world around you while you walk. The rest of the time you're crammed into tiny seats in classrooms in basements of buildings without any windows. The world is an amazing place, so please don't miss it by texting while walking (or driving, which is exceedingly unintelligent).

Sincerely,

Sir Matthew

Albert's Adventures in Wales Pt. 3

So, it turns out I didn't actually write a post covering the last half of our adventures overseas this summer, so I might as well finish it now.

Blaenavon Iron Works - I would also have pictures of Pwll Mawr (Big Pit), but they didn't let me take pictures of the depths of the coal mine. For some reason flash in a black pit is hazardous.

Welsh National Library

Harlech Castle

Criccieth Castle

Walking in the Clouds

On top of Mt. Snowdon

A sheep on Snowdon. Albert got to snack.

The smallest house in Britain actually occupied by real people at one point.

From the walls of Conwy Castle

Eating vanilla slice at the statue of Llewelyn in Conwy

Beaumaris Castle - The put up handrails to keep me off the edge of anything I wanted to be on

Commonly called Llanfair P.G.

Bryn Celli Ddu on the Isle of Anglesey.

Welcome to the Fairy World (Location: Llanberis, North Wales)

Dolbadarn Castle - a fine example of a true Welsh Castle

That says Welsh Slate Museum

The Wool Pit - Stacks on Stacks of Wool

Penrhyn Castle - a fine example of why some people shouldn't have a lot of money.

The coolest part of the whole styleless castle was this sweet tree.

Flint Castle - Not really made of a lot of flint.

Llandaff Cathedral - part of it got blown up in WWII by a falling land mine. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

The mighty Celtic Torc. In the building shown below. That's like 2 kilos of solid gold.

The British Museum (so many hours of awesome). Afterwards we went and saw The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night.

The Gadfield Elm Chapel which happens to be the oldest purpose built LDS chapel in the world.

Benbow Pond, where some of the early LDS baptisms in Britain took place.

York Minster

On a hilarious note, the A in Grape used to be a different vowel to denote the type of activity and profession that could be found in this part of York.

Albert wanted a picture at York Minster with Emperor Constantine

I don't remember the name of this abbey, but it was pretty cool looking. We stopped to use the restroom.

Edinburgh Castle

The Harry Potter series began in this cafe. And I write that intentionally without a diacritical mark.

What's in the pie, Albert? Oh, right, haggis, neeps, and tatties.

The Preston LDS temple.

And then, after packing up and going to the airport, Albert, Erasmus, and I shared this delicious Cadbury chocolate with honeycomb candy bar that we got from the vending machine in Dublin.

And there you have it. A brief overview of everything Albert and I did this summer as we traveled throughout the United Kingdom.

Albert's Traveling Adventures Pt. 2

Brace yourselves. There have been many mighty adventures in the past two weeks. You might read this post and immediately think, "Holy smokes, 2 weeks?! More like 2 months." That would be a valid response.

 If you use your imagination and turn upside down, you will see the head of the Uffington White Horse. Yes, those could potentially be his teeth. And yes, those are sheep in the background.

 And that curious hill in the background? Dragon's Mount, where St. George teleported from the Middle East to battle his dragon. Impressive.

 Then we travelled over to Oxford to spend the afternoon.

 And while in Oxford, how can you pass up going past Tolkien and Lewis's old stomping ground?

 I even took a picture of myself next to a sweet sword that's part of the ground. I would have happily taken up the pilgrimage, but I didn't know what it was, and I didn't think I could fit the sword into my duffel bag.

 Naturally we pilgrimaged on our own to Tolkien's grave. I mean, don't normal people congregate in graveyards?

 "Speak Friend and Enter." If only the elves had heard about punctuation. Yew trees at probably a St. Edward's church.

 The next day we went to St. Fagin's castle. Yeah, I said castle. Also, walking museum covering how people lived throughout all time in Britain.

 Look at that ancient British Pigsty. Albert was coveting a bit.

 After St. Fagin's we went to Tinkinswood. It's a quoit (or cromlech if you're inclined)

 Then Albert and I laid down in the ancient cremation pit at the Tinkinswood quoit. I believe there might have been the remnants of some nettles in that pit.

 And once you've seen one quoit, you have not seen them all. Albert's in the shadows here of St. Lythan's Quoit.

 Followed by a nice visit to Old Beaupre Castle. And yes, that facade added in the Elizabethan period does follow Palladian rules in column placement.

 Phew, two days down. Starting the third. Gloucester Cathedral! Yeah, I've walked where Emma Watson has walked (Scenes throughout HP were filmed here).

 And look at what I found in a bakery in Gloucester. That's right, vanilla slice.

 No rest for the weary. We left Gloucester and sauntered over to Kenilworth Castle, the first Royal Castle of our adventures in Britain.

 And from Kenilworth we drove to Stratford-upon-Avon. You guessed it, Shakespeare's corpse is in that building. Nice door. I saw the grave.

 And what does one do in Stratford? Why, watch a Shakespeare play at the Royal Shakespeare Company.

 And eat a Cornish Pasty.

 The next day we travelled over to Tutshill (saw J.K. Rowling's childhood home), and then ran across the bridge, effectively invading Wales, and then went to Chepstow Castle. You guessed it, this castle served as inspiration for Hogwarts.

 More Chepstow I think.

 Leaving Chepstow we went to Tintern Abbey. Yeah, they removed the ivy to preserve the structure, but I can still see it inspiring romantic poets ages ago.

 No stopping yet. Raglan Castle. One of the largest Marcher Lord castles we've been to.

 That last photo was from the bottom, but that's not enough. So we climbed the tallest tower to get a shot from above.

 Another day, another dozen adventures. Avebury (in this photo), is the largest stone circle in Britain. You might think "Oh, the largest henge!" You would be right, but also wrong. You'd be thinking of the rocks, but the henge is the ditch and pile of dirt.

 And look at this large man-made hill called Silbury Hill. Why would someone build a hill, you might ask? The answer is that no one knows. But it's made of chalk.

 A short little bit away we went to West Kennet Longbarrow, the longest barrow in Britain. We invaded the ancient home of the dead and sang Welsh songs in the grave.

 Hopping back in the car we zoomed over to Salisbury. Look at that impressive crossing tower on the cathedral (404 feet high! The tallest in Britain).

 The natural next destination was Winchester, where Albert and I saw Edward I's reconstruction of the Round Table. Henry VIII painted it and put it on the wall here at Winchester's Great Hall because the legs were falling apart.

 And Winchester's cathedral has a very nice West Side. However, the crossing tower is the most disappointing in all of Britain.

 Ending the day at Stonehenge we took a picture in front of the gate.

 And were watched constantly by these birds of ill omen.

 Waking up quite early we drove the width of Britain to get to Kent. And were rewarded with this nice view of the White Cliffs of Dover. And then we saw France (Unimpressed).

 But then we went to Dover Castle and explored the secret WWII tunnels (Impressed).

 When in Kent, visit every cannon fort that Henry VIII built (that is still standing). Walmer Castle first.

 And go to the nice flint beach.

 And then Deal Castle. So cannon fort-y. Followed by a 5 hour drive home.

 If you're tired now you should probably take a break. But we didn't. The following day we travelled over to Caerleon.

 We saw the baths, the barracks, the demonstration about soldier life, and then the amphitheater.

 Wow, what an extensive castle! It's only the largest in Wales (Caerphilly).

 This was a shorter day and we ended it at Castell Coch (That's Welsh for Castle Coch). One day you should ask me to see pictures of the inside.

 After the shorter Caerleon-Coch day, we travelled over to Bradford-on-Avon to see one of the only Saxon churches still in existence. Square and powerful, just like the Saxons.

 Then Lacock Abbey. I'll give you three guesses what movies were partially filmed here.

 Couldn't answer? Well here's a clue. A certain Dark Lord was regenerated in this ancient pot.

 Still haven't guessed it? Clue #2: The parents of a certain boy who lived were murdered in this house by that Dark Lord before his magic turned against him.

 But enough of Lacock. Let's go to Bath! Here's the Abbey. Do you know what those ladders represent? Hint: Those are angels ascending and descending. And it's an abbey.

 What a hip Royal Crescent. I bet all the cool kids live there. Well, rich kids. You need to be willing to cough up from 4-5 million pounds sterling to afford one of the smaller houses here. No wonder Jane Austen only hung out in Bath for a couple years.

 In your mind you are thinking, "What a nice ballroom!" Nope, it's the nicest tearoom you will ever be in. All those fancy Jane Austen dances and parties in Bath took place in this Assembly Hall. The ballroom is opposite this room through the Grand Octagon.

 And while in Bath, see a giant Roman bath. I drank the water (It comes out of a spout at the end of the museum) because that is what was meant by going to Bath to "take the water." And here you were thinking they bathed in it.

 That Thursday we hopped in the vehicle and set out for Cornwall. Naturally we stopped at Glastonbury Tor (and climbed it), one of the many British sights that can either drive you insane or make you a poet. The power of the Celtic deities is strong here.

 Next stop, Tintagel Castle. I don't think I took any pictures of the ruins because I was so impressed by the cliffs.

 I stand corrected. Look at those ruins.

 But then again, look at those cliffs. And yes, contrary to advice given to me, my heels are over the edge of this cliff that drops precipitously into the ocean and sharp pointy rocks. Sometimes Albert and I live on the edge (get it?).

 And then we descended to Merlin's cave. Which almost immediately turned into a "Flee from the tide coming in" moment.

 If you're asking yourself why they cut the tops off of all the trees, I have no explanation. But this is Lanhydrock, one of the most impressive examples of a Georgian Manor.

 Then on to St. Michael's Mount, an island at high tide, connected by a causeway at low tide. The tide had gone out by then so we could walk to the mount.

 Finally and fittingly, we ended that day by going to Land's End, where the land quite literally ends.

 There I discovered what could only be regarded as a living Rivendell. Although it's not a homely home.

 Day 2 in Cornwall began with us sallying forth to Chun Castle. Like the Uffington Castle, this is a misnomer, it being the remains of an Iron Age hill fort. The gorse here was thick and pointy.

 A short walk away we visited Chun Quoit. Such rockiness and precision. Isn't it cool how you can see the ocean from practically everywhere in Cornwall?

 Then on to Men-an-Tol which holds the distinction of being the most manipulated neolithic stone ever. Apparently traversing through the hole will increase fertility.

 Lanyon Quoit used to be at least twice as tall. In fact, you used to be able to ride a horse under it. However, lightning blasted one of the uprights and they just shortened everything else because that's how you get things done in Cornwall. You must have a quoit, and if you can't have the tallest, at least you can have one.

 Tromping through a creepy, tangly copse of trees we visited an ancient Celtic chapel. Apparently congregations were not that large back then.

 Not easily outdone, the Pagan folk claimed this tree and the nearby magical spring to compete with the ancient Christian site.

 And this is Carn Euny, the best preserved Iron Age village in Britain. Look at those round houses. It was in constant occupancy for 900 years. So that means the USA just needs to be around for another 663 years to match this tiny village.

 And no trip to Cornwall is complete without a trip to St. Ive's. Unfortunately, I'm not interested a whole ton in beaches, so I walked out of St. Ive's down the coast until I was completely alone.

 And this was my view. Not bad.

And to close out the adventures of the past two weeks, here is a wonderful sign from St. Ive's that I noticed while eating Cornish Ice Cream made from Cornish Dairy. And this is not a funny sign. This is a valid and very important warning. Vicious and sneaky birds, those seagulls.

We'll be going on many more adventures this upcoming week, and then I'll be in Cardiff for two weeks studying Welsh. But after that the adventures continue...