Rules to Live By

If you've spent any significant amount of time around me you have heard me say, "I only live by one rule," and then state a rule. If you've spent more than that amount of time around me you've probably heard me say that followed by multiple different rules, thus proving that I don't really live by only one rule. I decided that maybe it's about time to go on record with all the only rules I try to live by.

#1 - No Double Dipping

This is the most elementary of rules and has proven to be the one I have seen violated most frequently by those around me. And I'm not just talking about the blatant disregard of this rule demonstrated by my sisters-in-law with mozzarella sticks and marinara sauce. That's right, I haven't forgotten that. I believe that it extends into metaphorical realms as well. You found Divergent to be unoriginal, poorly written, and frustratingly cruddy? A second reading will not fix those problems, and continuing with that ill-fated series will only bring you sorrow. You dated a girl, broke up with her, and are now considering getting back together with her a couple weeks later? Is she or are you a fundamentally different person now? Have the issues that led to the initial break-up miraculously evaporated? No double dipping! I am aware that you all have friends or relatives or social acquaintances that double-dipped and got hitched and are happy, but you know what? I stand by what I believe. You graduated from High School and said to yourself, "Well, that was fun, but I'm never doing theatre again," but that opportunity to audition has come up after three years of theatre deprivation? I understand, and you have my permission to double-dip.

#2 - Go Big or Go Home

Just because I frequently choose the "Go Home" option does not mean I believe any less in this rule. If you are going to do something but are unwilling to invest yourself, then don't do it. Unless you have to. And if you have to then you might as well do your best. If it's worth doing then it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing but you still find yourself obligated to do it, then consider it practice for the next time you need to go big. In fact, most of the time my "Go Home" option is the best way to "Go Big."

#3 - Don't Knock It Until You Try It

Unless trying it would be in direct violation of the commandments of God. Then you still don't necessarily need to knock it, just stand firm in your beliefs. But when it comes to non-soul-affecting choices I live by this rule. There have been a lot of things that I have found joy in that I initially would have mocked and knocked, and even when I did not find joy in it I gained a greater appreciation for the effort and skill involved. Ballet (dance in general), hard as all get out. Mad respect. Being a vegetarian, not my cup of tea. Mad respect. Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, better than you would think. Mad respect to anyone who decides to try one after reading this post. I have a long list of things that I would like to try so that I am able to knock those things, but I won't knock them until I have tried them.

#4 - Always Accept "No" for an Answer

Your mind is boggled because I said always instead of never. Here's why: when most people say no, they say no for pretty good reasons. If you refuse to accept that no, then you are saying you do not respect their decision making ability and instead believe you should manipulate them to acquiesce to your requests. Maybe it's just me, but if someone accepts my no with dignity then I'm much more likely to consider their future proposals and say yes. If they refuse to accept my no we very quickly reach an impasse where stubbornness reaches critical mass. And just think about it. Do you really want everyone to say yes all the time? Especially if it's a begrudging yes? And no is much better than a half-hearted yes in many instances. Dating, crazy ideas, invitations to go on sweet adventures, borrowing things. In all of these instances a reluctant and forced yes will result in complaining, poor attitudes, and enragedness. If someone is firm with a no, accept it and move on.

#5 - When in Doubt, Ask Your Mother

I don't know your mother (actually, I might have met her depending on who you are), but I definitely know my mother. And my mother is almost 100% right at least 90% of the time. Unless she is asking the question and it is either "Where is my cell phone?" or "Where are the keys?" or "Do I already own a copy of Cold Sassy Tree?" Then it's really anyone's guess. But I can say with some certainty that her counsel has been helpful in almost every major life decision I have made. She is one of maybe three people I would allow to set me up with someone. Trust your mother. She raised you. Or trust my mother. She raised me.

#6 - Respect

Now, I'm not advocating just thoughtlessly giving respect to everyone and everything you come in contact with. I do believe that people earn respect. But I also believe that it's never acceptable to act disrespectfully. Remember the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Well, it actually holds a lot of water. It's like a sponge. But even beyond saying things and speaking in respectful tones and treating everyone like human beings, rarely if ever is it acceptable to storm off, to get all huffy, to yell at folks, to claim incompetence just because you are frustrated, or to bite someone you dislike. A wise man (who I believe to be the Savior of the world) proposed a golden rule about treating others as you would like to be treated. While at times difficult (just ask about all the fun times I had in the Houston airport on my way back to Utah), it bears remembering that everyone is a human being (except for Sasquatch. He's a Sasquatch) and life isn't easy for anyone. So why not just try to not make it harder for anyone else?

Those are probably the six main ones, you know, along with the obvious "Keep the commandments" one. I do have more rules, but those are more specific to situation or circumstance. I have very strict rules regarding which pants to wear ("Is there a stain anywhere on them? If not, then wear them" and "Will your legs freeze if you wear shorts? If not, then wear shorts") and which girls to ask on dates (Is she attractive and at least mildly interesting? Might as well). My fashion rules are less hard and fast (Wear clothes if the situation would be negatively affected by not wearing clothes). Movie and entertainment rules are quite fluid (If it's interesting I'll watch it. If it has explosions I'll watch it again). All in all I try to live simply. Maybe I'll expand my rules list one day, but for now these rules pretty much cover most areas of my life just fine.