3000 is an important number. It is part of the name of Andre 3000. If you eat 3000 of anything then that's pretty impressive. 3000 is the number of days in 8.21918 years, or 250 months. It's the number of minutes in 50 hours, which is 2 hours more than 2 full days. It's the number of times people have viewed my blog.
What's in a blog? A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. But a blog about the veracity of that line would be something entirely different. Here at Hunting Sasquatch we have explored many different subjects, and by that I mean about four. I talk about dating stuff, hot-button issues like the BYUSA, food, and Sasquatch. We've even coined some awesome Sasquatch related catch phrases at this very moment such as, "Squatch out!" and "You put the sass in Sasquatch," and "Walking in the footsteps of giants will cause you to split your pants." I said awesome, not good. Oh, and I also wrote an allegorical villanelle about Bacon. Deal with it!
By this point it should be clear to you that I am quite probably a sexy genius. Who else would take dozens of unwanted and not-very-delicious plums and turn them into a most delicious Strawberry Plum Bread and personal Plum Pies? Who else would think of putting lemonade powder into their pancake mix? Who else could you turn to when you just don't know how to communicate with the opposite sex? Who else could convince you that the Friend-zone is not a bad place to be? Who else would, without any real research on the subject, condemn an entire organization and present a lot of possibly true facts to back it up? Who else could possibly be as attractive as I? I don't know, but I assume that there are at least three of us in the world, and the other two are probably the ones hogging all the ladies.
Let's metaphor some stuff. I love Emma Watson. If she walked up to me right now and expressed interest in forming a physical connection via the lips, I would oblige. If she punched my arm, I'd laugh with her and not get angry or frustrated. I would (and do) follow her on the Twitter. I might even be a fan of her on the Facebook, though that is less likely because people actually see my the Facebook and might be inspired to judge me based on my unrequited affection for her. I don't know where I'm going with this. Ah, right. Life is filled with choices. On the Twitter, I can follow Emma and read her tweets, know what she thought about things, and I have the option of tweeting at her. Do I take that opportunity to tweet at her? No. She has 7.5 million followers, which makes it sound like a strange religion, but I assure you that the Emma worship I have seen on the Twitter falls far from idol worship. It's the same with all the celebrities. I've never once heard Emma Watson compared to Jesus, so I think it's all in good fun.
Now, let's say I did tweet her. People probably use the @EmWatson all day e'eryday to share some pretty brilliant insights, such as, "You are so pretty #nothingbutneck", "Hey @EmWatson y r u so awesome? XD", "@EmWatson, ur ratio of talent to film income is astounding #skittlemyknitting" and other such observations. The impact of one tweet is inconsequential. But let's say, in a time period of one waking-day I tweeted her like 3000 times, all with fascinating and intriguing ideas, comments, questions, and words of affirmation. I feel like that could not go ignored. I also feel like she would recognize my affection and reciprocate it.
Well, I have felt your affection. 3000 views?! For me, that's amazing. I ain't no famous person. I ain't never gon' be. But at least one person has looked at my blog 3000 times, which seems excessive if attributed to one person. So 3 people have looked at my blog 1000 times each. Much more normal. So here is my announcement of reciprocation. Openly declare what your level of affection for me could produce from an oven, and the winner will receive that oven item as evidence that my affection actually produced it.
And if you are Emma Watson and you want to declare openly that you want to form a physical connection with me via the lips, then I will create the most delicious kiss ever from my oven.
So, without further ado, and with one adieu, here is a picture of Emma Watson.
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