Mmmm, Smells.

Whilst working on some other things, I started thinking about smells. I have several that definitely rank in my top favorite smells of all time. So, ladies, this blog post is for you. If you truly seeks to woo me, smell like the following things, or something equally delicious, and I will comment on it, thus breaking the ice and allowing for our relationship to grow and flourish.

The following smells are not in any order, simply the order that my brain thinks of smells.

1. Sauteed Onions - This may sound weird, but cutting up a yellow onion, heating up a hint of olive oil in the skillet, and then sauteing those delicious onions to where the edges are hinting at a smidge of charring...mmmmm, so good. The smell is glorious.

2. Bacon - I don't think I need to add anything to that. This could also be expanded to include all frying breakfast meats.

3. Fruity Liquid Soaps - Nothing is quite as pleasant in the exact same way as washing your hands with a deliciously fruity soap. Much better than those gnarly flowery soaps. No thanks on those, yes please on the fruitiness.

4. Vanilla Scents - This also includes the natural scent of vanilla extract (If a recipe doesn't call for vanilla, I'm always tempted to add some anyways). When this is combined with the above scent (Such as a vanilla citrus hand soap) then there is no stopping the delectable smell from captivating me for a moment. Vanilla candles, vanilla beans, vanilla additive, vanilla anything. I'm down for sniffing it.

5. Pheromones - I'm not conscious of these smells, but I assume I find them wonderful subconsciously (at least some of them).

6. Fresh Book Smell - That smell when you crack open a new book for the first time and just bury your nose into the pages. Wait, you don't do that? Well try it next time you get a new book. Reading should be a multi-sensory experience. Tactile, olfactory, visual, imaginational (though I recommend against tasting the books, though the snozberries do taste like snozberries).

7. Rain - A good solid spring rain leaves a most wonderful smell in the air. Especially if you live in a place with lots of trees (Read "East Coast").

8. Baked Goods - The smell is mightiest in the kitchen where such baked goods are baking, but I'll also accept fresh deliveries, because those smells are also wonderful. Highlights of the baked goods arena are ginger snaps, other cookies of various varieties, and candied bacon.

9. Clean clothes - Right out of the dryer with a delicious dryer sheet. Mmm, nothing says comfort like warm, good-smelling clothes.

10. Women's Shampoo - This especially applies to brands such as Herbal Essences (mmm, the essence of herbs is so appealing). I have yet to smell a woman's hair that was not appetizing.

So what can we learn from this? If a woman wants to win my heart (or at least overwhelm my sense of smell in a good way) she should come over to my apartment after a rain storm, carrying a plate of delicious baked goods with her hands recently washed with fruity soaps, wearing clean clothes and a hint of vanilla scent, carrying a fresh paperback in her back pocket (if girl's back pockets can handle paperbacks) after having cooked some bacon and onions in her own apartment (the lingering smell is plenty), and then whip her hair to the side (thus releasing the smell of Herbal Essences into the air). A recipe for conflicting smells? No. A recipe for Matt to be olfactorily pleased? You betcha.

Pleased by a delicious ape smell.

Diving nose first into a pleasant scent.

This owl thinks I'm funny.