Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Back to Sasquatch

Over the months of this blog I have seemingly moved away from my quest to find Sasquatch. However, you would be incorrect to assume that. Yes, school does tend to get in the way of my true calling in life, but it never can fully stop it. Recently I have been working on my plan to spend time immersed in the Pacific Northwest in order to earn the trust of the gentle giants and be admitted into their communities. In my research, however, I have discovered that it might not be entirely necessary to travel that far.

In order to give you a visual image, I share this link.

Why must one go to the Pacific Northwest when there are legitimate sightings reported here in the Wasatch front? Or even in the entire Appalachian region (I would "go home," but really it would just be a Sasquatch excursion). I have learned that perhaps one must not simply trust the most common folklore, but should instead trust good, solid, scientific data in order to target cryptozoologic research effectively.

Some people do not believe that it would be worth my time to journey deep into the heart of Sasquatch country. Some people would be wrong. People always tell you to follow your dreams, but they always mean "Follow your dreams as long as they make sense to me." Unless of course those people are my mother. Then she actually means it, though I have not shared by Sasquatch Hunt dreams with her. I'm sure she'd approve. If nothing else I would get some intense camping done.

Sasquatch is entirely misunderstood. Yes, there are doubters, one of them being a pair of people that I respect to the utmost. Yet for every doubter there are an equal number of supporters and true seekers (not really, because it's hard to overcome the prejudices of skeptical science, as opposed to embrasive science, the branch that I believe in). It's a hot topic, I understand that. I vote purely based on level of credence given by political figures to reported sightings.

Adventure and excitement will always succeed in calling the adventurer, and I'm nothing if not an adventurer. First question I ask a potential date: "If your fiance planned a honeymoon, would you be upset if said honeymoon involved an intense two week search for Sasquatch?" Most common answer: Well, I don't have a lot of potential dates (I either have a date or I don't, no real grey area where this question could be used).

If nothing else, I need to get to the mountains. Having dreamed all my life of doing something big and heroic, I never thought that it would be pioneering the field of Human-Sasquatch interaction, or Sasquatch Anthropology, or Sasquatch Theology. I never thought I would be called as an expert witness in front of a congressional committee to testify of the benefits of a cross-species alliance against the rising Gorion threat (When I genetically engineered the Gorion, a cross between a gorilla and a lion, I never intended to lose control. My main mistake was giving them the power of human speech).

A wide world of possibilities await. First Sasquatch president. First Sasquatch to star in a major motion picture. First Sasquatch to play in the NBA (James Harden is doing a great job of paving the way for greater tolerance). If I can make contact, the world will change. It will enter into the greatest period of peace and brotherly love that it has ever seen. Cryptozoology will no longer have a read squiggly line underneath it.

Dream big. And if you can't dream big, then you're not trying. Sasquatch, it's almost time for you and I to meet (and then share a delicious tea made from herbs from your own garden while discussing the societal structure of your Sasquatch community).

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