Little Couch

I will state clearly and boldly, without reservations, I really want to win a portrait and dnnnhnnhn. Unfortunately, there are several obstacles to those dreams. Though I desire it the most, I have made the least progress towards victory. I have tried, but alas, my forays into uncharted territory still leave me with a blank piece of paper. No cartography here.

I think there are several issues that I can correct. The first is that I have of late been infinitely busy. So busy that today was the first day in weeks that I actually got to go to the store briefly to buy cereal. How crazy is that!? It's moderately crazy. For those that do not know, I was involved in the BYU production of Love's Labors Lost. I am now finished with that production, and it was an amazing experience. I love working with Stephanie, because I find that she is able to bring out a great deal of me that I was unaware existed before her direction. She's the best director I've ever worked with. But now that is in the past (until next year, when you had better bet your bottom dollar I'll be auditioning for her next show). With the production over the question of time is now answered, and I will be focusing some of the time that has now fallen into my lap into the pursuit of dnnhnnhn dreams.

Secondly: Naturally in an endeavor of this magnitude, there is a certain measure of trepidation. One does not simply walk into Mordor, as the old saying goes. Nor does one simply haberdash with impunity. The little couch, the object of divine attention, remains unfilled by my presence. I have not yet earned it. But then again, can one simply earn such a lofty aim? If we only got what we deserved, I would never receive the portrait.

Tertiary Reason (Like the Tertiary Structure of Proteins, this is where the concerns and obstacles become three dimensional, although this reason could very well fit into the metaphor of quaternary structure): A quest of such perilousity requires a companion, and I have yet to find one that will accept me for me. There are many truths of Sir Matthew R. Fife, First Knight of Beryppicus, but I have yet to find a questing cohort that can accept and embrace the totality of idiosyncrasy that forms the core, the juicy-fruity flesh, and the shell that is this man.

Fifth and Finally (because the last was 3 and 4 based on protein structure): I simply don't know if I have cartography and haberdashery in me anymore. The world has changed, but I'm not sure I have kept up with the flow of time. It doesn't help that my Ocarina has only managed to summon one storm of sufficiently impressive strength in a respectable amount of time. Time travel is currently beyond me, but if it were not (and I'm beginning to lean more towards that possibility every day) I'm not sure it would help. Traveling back in time would make me a no-longer-viable specimen in the pools in which I would be wont to swim, and traveling forward in time would make me fall further and farther behind the times.

Nevertheless, and Neverthemore, I will strive with every fiber of my cellular structure, even the microtubules and microfilaments, atoms, electrons, protons, quarks, whatever is theoretically smaller than a quark, and the little tiny sticks that hold all my atoms together (according to all the models I've seen), to right these errors, to liberate the little couch from the hands of the oppressors, and to chart what cannot be charted, to travel with an human of equitable standing and immeasurable tolerance. Then and only then will I win portraits and dnnnhnnhnn galore.

Then I can say that I am truly happy.