Wednesday, October 3, 2012

I is Important


I

It seems to me that it is one of the more important words in the English language. It’s also probably one of the shortest, but for fear of being proven wrong, I won’t make a definitive claim to that effect.
Sometimes I am amazed at how important it proves itself to be in daily conversation. In fact, in lots of sentences the meaning shifts entirely if you drop the I. Let’s look at some examples.
I kick the ball. (Very clear that I am the one doing the kicking. Simple present tense.)
Kick the ball. (The meaning has shifted. Instead of me kicking, I am now commanding you to kick the ball. Fascinating)

Let’s look at some more of the same thing just for emphasis.

I eat cake. (Simple present)
Eat cake. (Command)

I dance. (Simple present)
Dance. (Command)

I welcome any spiders that choose to make their abode in the shower. (Present)
Welcome any spiders that choose to make their abode in the shower. (Command)

There is only a one letter difference in the sentences. So why does the meaning change so much? Well, because you are dropping all claim to the action of the sentence, forcing it out of the home of I into the cold, dark streets of grammatical ambiguity. It needs to mean something, so it, the abandoned sentence, seeks out a home where it is welcome, just not by you. Well, actually, it is the house of you. So just not by I. At least that’s what I assume happens in the grammatical reality.

So let’s look at one more example, and this example is, in fact, what I was aiming at from the very beginning.

I love you. (Simple)
Love you. (Command)

I hate (And not for the very obvious reasons of life circumstances) when I’m walking on campus, or in a grocery store, or in the middle of a forest, and someone is jabbering away on their cellular telephone, and then they say, “Love you.” Usually in a cutish voice.  It’s so sad that they have to remind the person to whom they are talking to love themselves.  I don’t think that that type of emotional problem should be broadcast to the general public.

I know, I know (Notice, if I had dropped the “I” then I would be commanding you to have knowledge). That’s not what they mean. But that’s what they are saying. Why is one more letter so difficult? I understand that you are a woman and therefore can’t help but exude cuteness. Believe me, it’s the strongest scent on BYU’s campus (As long as you are not in a confined space in the SFH. Then it’s unwashed man scent).

I also recognize that I am nit-picking, that it is clearly a widely accepted phrase, and that it is not really all that important in the long run. But don’t you see? It is important. In our community it probably wouldn’t hurt to remind each other to love ourselves (Except the actors. Don’t tell them to love themselves. If you want to know why, put mirrors in a rehearsal room. It’s hilarious).

If you are at a point where you are professing your amorous feelings to another human being of the opposite gender (non-family), then I can say with some certainty that you are in a committed relationship. If not, then all I can do is shake my head at your lack of class and personal honor. If you can commit to love and respect someone despite the fact that they are human, then you can commit to verbally express one syllable more.

From what I can tell, love is sort of important. It’s also sort of a specific sort of thing. So why not be specific in your expression of love? Don’t make it a command. Don’t leave it ambiguous. State with pride, “I love you.” If you’re really willing to shout it from the rooftop, then show your love for her/him, as well as your love for the English language.

Love is no place for commands. Except for my favorite, “Love me.”